it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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