her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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