I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize