My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
