Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
