so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize