my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
