i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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