Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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