Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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