toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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