1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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