last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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