i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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