i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
