I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
