I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize