I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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