Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
