white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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