Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
