I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
