Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize