my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
