Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
