im about as happy as oj after his trial
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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