Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize