It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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