i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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