I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
