all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize