They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
