never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
