maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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