Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
