He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
