I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
