ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
