no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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