There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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