Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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