i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
