Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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