I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
