omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
