he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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