he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
