dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
