My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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