Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
