You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
