It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
